PSYCHOTHERAPY AND COUNSELLING
Cancer Patients
A diagnosis of cancer – or any acute or chronic illness – can throw your life into upheaval. With years of experience helping patients and caregivers both during treatment and afterwards, I can help you through it. I will remind you that all the feelings you’re having are normal, give you some tools to make the challenges more manageable, and be there through whatever comes up.
Why see me?
- You are a cancer patient or have finished treatment for cancer.
- You have experienced major changes in your identity, body image, relationship and or sexuality, career and ambition, future dreams or view of mortality.
- You are experiencing feelings of sadness, fear, anger, guilt, overwhelm and frustration.
- You have fears about treatment or about life post-treatment.
- You are learning to live with cancer as a chronic condition.
- You are struggling with the lack of certainty that cancer brings, and facing the unknown.
How I can help:
- Wrapping your head around a diagnosis of cancer can be an almost impossible task. Having someone who understands the process and common reactions can help you remember to breathe when the roller coaster ride is too much.
- Cancer can provoke some overwhelming emotions: everything from feeling lost, confused or helpless to feeling angry, resentful, or guilty. There can be the fear of the future, fear of a recurrence and dealing with major uncertainty. I will remind you that these feelings are normal and help you through them.
- A diagnosis of cancer can lead to feelings of isolation. Having someone you can talk to who is always on your side can be helpful.
- There are some things you want / need to talk about that can be hard to share with those you love. Fears about the future or physical and emotional changes are common, but they’re not easy to talk about. It can be useful to get those fears off your chest with someone who is separate from your life and who doesn’t judge any of it.
- Approximately 10% of cancer patients are young adults (18 – 39 years old in the oncology world). Coping with a cancer diagnosis as a young adult can be a particularly challenging experience because of where you are in life. I have a lot of experience working with young adults and can provide resources as well as a path through the uncertainty.
Caregivers
An acute or chronic illness doesn’t just happen to a person, it happens to the whole family or circle of friends, and it can throw all of your lives into upheaval. With years of experience helping patients and caregivers both during treatment and afterwards, I can help you through it. I will remind you that all the feelings you’re having are normal, give you some tools to make the challenges more manageable, and be there with you through whatever comes up.
Why see me?
- You are a family member or a friend who is caring for a loved one who has or has had an acute or chronic illness.
- You are experiencing feelings of sadness, fear, anger, guilt, depression, overwhelm, frustration, hopelessness, or many others.
- You have concerns about how to support your loved one in this difficult time.
- You are not sure you will be ‘good enough’.
- You feel guilty for taking time for yourself when there is so much to do.
- You don’t know how to set boundaries or communicate your needs effectively.
- You are struggling with the lack of certainty that cancer brings and facing the unknown.
How I can help:
- Wrapping your head around a loved one’s diagnosis can be an almost impossible task. Having someone who understands the process and common reactions can help you remember to breathe when things seem overwhelming.
- Illness can provoke some overwhelming emotions: everything from feeling lost, scared, or helpless to feeling angry, resentful, or guilty. Having an outlet to talk about your feelings and concerns can make them feel more manageable.
- There are some things you may want to talk about that can be hard to share with the person who is sick. Concerns about the treatment and its effects, the physical, emotional and mental changes that are going on with your loved one, or your worries about their mortality and the future are normal. They’re also not easy to talk about. It can be useful to be honest and get those fears off your chest with someone who is separate from your life and who doesn’t judge any of it.
- With all the focus on the health of your loved one, you might forget that you also need to take care of yourself, or you might feel guilty about it. In fact, it is crucial that you find some time and space for YOU or you will be unable – in the long term – to care for the person you love. Remember that before every flight they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else. Coming to therapy where you can be honest about how you’re feeling is like putting on your oxygen mask. Together we will come up with strategies to help you cope with the enormous stress of caring for a loved one who is sick.
Bereavement
Losing a loved one can be devastating. It can feel like your world is ending and no one else realizes it – or they want you to move on as quickly as possible. I believe that grieving a loss is necessary and that it takes time. There is no ‘right’ amount of time to grieve. You are allowed to go at your own pace, following the ebbs and flows of life. I will be present with you and your grief and will never pressure you to ‘put on a happy face’ or ‘get over it’. Together, we will look at redefining your life in the absence of the person you loved, and finding peace.
Why see me?
- You have recently lost someone close to you, or are now finding the loss to be unendurable.
- You feel like you will never feel happy again.
- You feel guilty for moments when you feel happy.
- You feel like people around you don’t understand your feelings, or don’t want to hear about them anymore.
- You feel isolated and don’t know who to turn to.
How I can help:
- The loss of a loved one can bring overwhelming emotions which can make you feel like you’re out of control and can be hard to handle alone. I will remind you that these feelings are normal and provide tools you can use to help you ride the waves of emotions and move through them more easily.
- Sharing your pain with someone who is outside of your inner circle means that you can be honest about what is going on in your life, and feel supported throughout the process.
- There can be pressure from those who love you to get ‘back to normal’ as quickly as possible, but normal has changed and it will take time to find a ‘new normal’ for you. Therapy is a place where you are allowed to feel how you feel and never have to justify your emotions, or where you are in the grieving process.
Self-Esteem
What if you could feel like you were enough? Good enough, strong enough, smart enough. What if you were fine just the way you are? You are! But sometimes we need to be reminded of this. To work through the little voices that doubt who we are and what we are capable of becoming. I am here to quiet those voices, to empower you to be your best self, the one you were meant to be.
Why see me?
- You have recently lost someone close to you, or are now finding the loss to be unendurable.
- You feel like you will never feel happy again.
- You feel guilty for moments when you feel happy.
- You feel like people around you don’t understand your feelings, or don’t want to hear about them anymore.
- You feel isolated and don’t know who to turn to.
How I can help:
- I believe that we all need to learn how to be our own biggest cheerleader, but sometimes we need a cheerleader to help along the way until we do it automatically.
- It’s not easy to talk about the parts of ourselves that we don’t like or don’t want to recognize. Having a safe space in which to be vulnerable allows us to explore all those different parts and decide which ones are still useful, and which ones were helpful in the past but no longer serve us.
- We often compare ourselves to others – at least the public side they present – and that can make us feel inadequate. By focusing on your self-worth, you will stop the comparisons and start to feel good in your skin.
- Studies have shown that self-compassion can be more helpful and motivating than self-criticism. Acknowledging our mistakes or perceived weaknesses and being kind to ourselves can help us through tough times so we can better strive for what we want and who we want to be.
- In our struggles to do it all and be everything to everyone, many of us end up feeling like we’re failing it all. Together, we can explore the concept of being ‘good enough’ and making peace with knowing that we’re doing our best.
Transition
We experience many transitions in our lives, and some of them can have a profound impact. They can lead to questions about identity, professional or personal choices, and the future, and leave us feeling unstable and lost. In the midst of transition, it can be hard to see what’s on the other side. Talking with a compassionate professional can remind you that there is destination and that you will eventually find your way there, and can support you along the way.
Why see me?
- You are going through a major life transition that you haven’t chosen such as a job loss, a separation or a diagnosis of illness, and are feeling overwhelmed.
- You are going through a major life transition that you have chosen such as a new relationship, a divorce, or a move, and are feeling overwhelmed.
- The transition has turned your life upside down and you’ve lost sight of yourself.
- You don’t feel grounded and don’t know what to do in order to feel more stable.
How I can help:
- I can teach you about the different stages of transition so that you are less stressed when dealing with them.
- Counselling – along with mindfulness techniques – can help you to ground yourself during times of transition when you feel lost.
- We can work together to figure out your next steps and the path you were meant to take, remembering that you are the expert on you.
- I can remind you how strong you really are, and help you find those inner reserves of strength.